


call out my name

by berrybaby



Series: my dear melancholy, [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 15:31:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18346514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrybaby/pseuds/berrybaby
Summary: kyungsoo returns after a year.





	call out my name

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: spit, no prep before sex, referenced impact-play in the past, crying, struggling marriage 
> 
>  
> 
> title from the weeknd’s song of the same name

minseok didn’t expect to hear from him so soon.

 

he had expected winter time, maybe december, but he’s in the balcony of _gluttony_ when his assistant comes up the stairs. she’s not allowed up here and her expression says as such but she’s holding a phone to her chest. minseok looks away from his two accountants and blinks at her, “yerim?”

 

“it’s… it’s kyungsoo, sir.” minseok flinches. the sinking feeling in his stomach deepens the more he doesn’t take the phone from yerim’s hands until she starts speaking again. he quickly excuses himself from his two accountants and takes the phone.

 

yerim hurries down the stairs again and minseok hears the sigh of relief she lets out. “kyungsoo.” but it means, _what the hell are you calling about?_ there’s some loud chatter on the other end, like he’s somewhere busy. kyungsoo knows minseok hates that shit, hates having to jump through hoops just to talk to him.

 

“hey. sorry if you’re busy.” kyungsoo says. “i’m at the airport. i just landed.”

 

he’s _here_? now?

 

“oh.” minseok looks over at his accountants and waved them off, mouths at them to reschedule. he signs their checks, anyway. “yeah, you should have let me know earlier. i’m at one of the clubs right now.”

 

“which one? i could go, if you want.” kyungsoo sounds like he doesn’t want to. he never liked being in any of the clubs minseok owned.

 

minseok clears his throat, “it’s fine. i’ll see you at the apartment later.”

 

“okay.”

 

kyungsoo hangs up right after. minseok stares at the phone and huffs, wants to chuck it at the wall and scream. kyungsoo wasn’t supposed to be here so soon. he had said a year and a half and now he’s cutting it to a year four months. minseok would forget what he looks like if it weren’t for his face being everywhere.

 

minseok works the rest of the day with his head swimming. he feels sick and like maybe he has to lie down whenever it hits him that kyungsoo is home, that he’s going to see him again. minseok glances down at his left hand and nearly growls at their wedding ring. so much for happy endings.

 

*

 

it had been good, in the beginning. after two years, minseok got oddly distant and kyungsoo was too busy with his acting to fully notice. they didn’t sleep in the same bed anymore after the two year and six months mark. dating was fine. when they were boyfriends, minseok couldn’t remember a time where he wasn’t happy, where he didn’t want to be near kyungsoo. marriage really does fuck everything up ten fold.

 

minseok loves him, he does, but it had been so bad that kyungsoo had left. he didn’t leave him, but he was offered an acting job overseas that required him to stay out of the country for a year and a half. hence why minseok wouldn’t expect him so soon. they didn’t keep in contact as much because of time zones, but they did a facetime call every month for the first three months and then they just stopped. minseok went two or three months without hearing a word from him.

 

but now he’s back, and alive and looking healthy. minseok almost doesn’t recognize him when he enters the apartment. his hair is longer and cheeks are fuller. overseas food really bulks you up. he looks up and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “hey.” kyungsoo says, but it’s tight, forced. minseok smiles softly, hugs him and then let’s go. kyungsoo smells like he’s fresh out of the shower, clean shaven and minty. “good to see you.”

 

“you, too.” minseok tries to relax, but his shoulders tense up. he wants to roll up into a ball and go to his bedroom, that used to be theirs before kyungsoo stopped sleeping in the same bed with him. “nearly a year and a half really… changed your face.”

 

“american sun.” kyungsoo laughs presses a hand against his cheek. “the clubs are doing well?”

 

minseok nods, doesn’t care much for small talk. “been busy with a lot of things. i couldn’t call as much.” _i didn’t want to,_  he means.

 

kyungsoo hums like he understands, like he gets it. “i made you some food, in case you didn’t eat before.” i didn’t even eat this morning, he wants to say. minseok goes into their kitchen and looks at the still warm bowl of ramen. “you only had that so… i’ll go grocery shopping soon.”

 

 _that means you’re staying here?_ minseok chews and stares off into space, flinches when he feels kyungsoo touch him. it’s been awhile and remembering all the times before punches a hole in his stomach. “i know we haven’t…” kyungsoo pauses, his hand drops from the grip it had momentarily on minseok’s elbow. “we haven’t been a model married couple. it’s been… difficult for both of us, i think.”

 

minseok blinks at him, unsure if he should shove another mouthful of noodles into his mouth. it sounds awfully like the speech you give before asking for a divorce, before saying that maybe this shit wasn’t going to work anymore. minseok still very much loves him, but something is off and he can’t tell what. “i’d like to try again.” kyungsoo says finally. for reasons unknown to him, minseok feels relief spread throughout his body. as to what this relief is connected to; relief of still wanting to be with him or relief of not having to go through a divorce. “because i still love you. i don't know if you’ve… found someone while i was away, but i’d like to try again. if you’re willing.”

 

just the thought of kyungsoo thinking minseok had been with anyone else puts a bad taste in his mouth. he couldn’t even if he wanted to. it seems cheesy to say it’s only ever been you. it has, but minseok doesn’t want to be that person. “okay.” he says, instead. “you look tired. you should sleep some.”

 

“time difference fucked me over. it’s morning to me right now.”

 

he does go, though. he goes into their once shared bedroom and gets on the bed. minseok showers first, takes his time trying to think of the things he’d done in the year kyungsoo was gone. aside from keeping the clubs running, he mostly stayed home and drank. it wasn’t healthy, but he didn’t have many friends, and yerim wasn’t that good of a drinking buddy since she could only drink half a beer before knocking out.

 

it’s good, he thinks, that they’re trying again. maybe it’ll stick this time. kyungsoo is on minseok’s side of the day, phone in front of his face. minseok shuts the lights off, leaving the bedside lamp on only. when kyungsoo doesn’t roll over to his side, minseok nudges him a bit. “too cold on that side of the room.” he says. kyungsoo rolls until he’s in the middle of the bed, phone still inches from his face. he’s watching something in english, an interview of sorts. minseok glances over and sees that it’s him and his co star. “your english is better.”

 

“thanks.” kyungsoo says. “i was nervous before. they said i have a good speaking voice. whatever that means.”

 

“your co star is pretty.” and she was, but minseok was just trying to make conversation with the awkwardness hanging in the room. “was it difficult? in the states?”

 

“not really. mostly lonely.” kyungsoo slides out of the video and locks his phone. “were you lonely?”

 

minseok nods, wants to say that he felt lonely even when kyungsoo lived here, that the feeling grew heavier when he left. “should really sleep, kyungsoo.”

 

he can smell it on him, but minseok tries to ignore it. the shea butter body wash he only ever used if they were going to fuck. reunion sex hadn’t even crossed his mind till now. kyungsoo turns his head to look at him. the states really did a number on him. he has freckles minseok doesn’t remember seeing before he left, his cheeks are chubbier, well fed and he’s glowing, almost. he’s suddenly filled with the urge to hug him, to hold him and never let him go back to the states, wants to say that he can do better, that he can keep him happy and well fed and chubby and glowy.

 

kyungsoo gets up, sighing like he’s annoyed and faces away from him, feigning slumber when minseok tugs on his wrist, pulls him half on top of him. it’s a lot like the feeling when he heard his voice on the phone earlier that day. his stomach dropping for miles, a never ending hole sinking him further and further. kyungsoo is the same, still kisses like he wants to map out every inch of minseok’s mouth. it sends a chill through minseok, how badly he still wants kyungsoo.

 

there’s few instances where kyungsoo likes being on his back, but tonight is one of those. minseok’s pawing for the lube under the bed when kyungsoo suddenly says, “don’t prep me. just put it in.” this, too. before it had been safe since they were both fucking like bunnies and prep wasn’t necessarily needed, but it’s been a year. minseok knows better than to listen to him, so he shakes his head, says it’ll hurt too bad and he’ll be sore.

 

minseok flinches when kyungsoo grabs his face, shocked by the tenderness his eyes hold as he says, “i want it to.” minseok frowns. “i’ll be fine. i want it to hurt.”

 

that wasn’t new territory, either but it had been so long. minseok could hardly remember the last time they were even naked around each other, let alone the last time they fucked. kyungsoo is that way, though, likes it when things sting or leave a mark. if he had it his way, he would want every touch that minseok gave him to leave a mark.

 

kyungsoo’s watching him as he lubes up his cock, leveling him with a look that’s both hinge and desperate. “come here a minute.” he whispers, grabbing on to minseok’s biceps and bringing him down so they’re looking at each other. “you haven’t said a word since we started.”

 

“sorry.” minseok looks at his freckles, his lips that are a bit swollen from the kissing. “got a lot on my mind.”

 

“i can tell. you look older with those bags under your eyes.” kyungsoo runs the pad of his thumb over minseok’s eyelids. “just put it in. don’t move.”

 

minseok tries not to, but it’s overwhelming to be inside of kyungsoo and not move. he huffs, can feel his cock twitch from the lack of movement. kyungsoo clenches up, eyes squeezed tight, hands curling into the meat of minseok’s shoulders. “you’re crying.” minseok hisses, makes a move to pull out when kyungsoo cries out louder, wraps his ankles around minseok’s hips to keep him in. “kyungsoo.”

 

“leave it.” he sniffles. “ _leave it._ stay inside.”

 

whatever game this is, minseok tries to keep up, but not much of anything is happening. kyungsoo keeps crying, and it’s past the slight pain minseok caused sliding into him. minseok continuously wipes his cheeks, kisses his jaw and neck to soothe him, but he won’t stop. it’s worrisome. “what is it? did i do something?”

 

“i can’t marry anyone else.” kyungsoo forces out, mouth trembling. “i’m too old. you’re too old! i can’t marry anyone else. i don't want to.”

 

“you won’t.” minseok frowns, tries to sit up but he remembers he’s balls deep. groaning, he drops his forehead against kyungsoo’s collarbone. “stop crying. i feel like i’m hurting you.”

 

“i want you to.” kyungsoo moans, moving his hips languidly. “i’ve asked you to before. hit me. come on, hit me.”

 

“no.” it’s too soon, they haven’t talked about it and minseok feels guilty. “not now. stop. _fucking._ crying.”

 

kyungsoo wails when minseok finally gives in, finally fucks him like they used to. fucks him like he really means it. minseok bites along the column of kyungsoo’s throat, clamps a hand over his mouth when he starts babbling nonsense out loud. “you gotta stop doing this to me.” minseok hisses, presses his hand harder against his mouth, flinches when kyungsoo parts his lips to suck minseok’s middle finger into his mouth. “i’d never divorce you. you know i can’t. but fuck, kyungsoo,” his gut clenches and his thighs burn, “all that time away… i forgot what it felt like having you.”

 

that earns him a bit on his finger, but he ignores it. “give it to me, then.” minseok pulls his finger out, relishing in the gasp for air that kyungsoo takes. “you first.”

 

tears cling to his eyelashes. minseok is brutal, doesn’t let up even after kyungsoo’s come and hisses from the sensitivity.

 

as to why that happened, why kyungsoo was begging minseok to put his hands on him, why minseok is suddenly an animal unleashed, why kyungsoo cried the whole time and didn't let minseok move, is unknown to either of them. kyungsoo doesn’t even object when minseok asks if he can finish on his face. minseok groans, watches as kyungsoo licks some of it around his mouth and sticks his tongue out.

 

minseok bends a bit and spits in his mouth, feels a chill run through him when kyungsoo closes his mouth, swallows him.

 

*

 

he’s glad that they’re both busy, that minseok is drowning in paperwork and kyungsoo is too busy with table readings and photoshoots for them to run into each other at home. they sleep together now, minseok on his side and kyungsoo on his. they speak from time to time, but it’s mainly glorified roommate city in their apartment.

 

minseok tries, even agrees to go to the premiere of one of kyungsoo’s movies when he’s busy as shit with work. he agrees because he knows that he can’t have kyungsoo giving eighty percent and minseok giving twenty.

 

he’s well respected, kyungsoo that is. he gets shy when he’s praised, shrinks under the lights during award shows but is as humble as they come. minseok notes that’s one of the reason why he’s so in deep with him. just because kyungsoo is the way he is.

 

very few people in the public knew that kyungsoo was married, and let alone with a man like minseok. minseok wasn’t well known unless the subject of nightclubs came into question. he owned a total of seven in the city.

 

“you look nice.” kyungsoo tells him when they pull up to the red carpet. their driver opens the door for them, but kyungsoo doesn’t step out right away. “you’re gonna knock them dead, babe.”

 

the flashing gets obnoxious after a while. kyungsoo gets shouted at to look over here and what faces to make. he’s not a doll, but minseok thinks this is the worst time to pick a fight over something like that. a few reporters pull him aside for short interviews. minseok hangs back during those, steps aside out of camera shot and watches as kyungsoo speaks respectfully, nods and answers in that hypnotic voice of his.

 

a few reporters ask who his date was for the night since the photographers had taken more pictures than usual. “oh! my husband.” kyungsoo says. “he doesn’t like being on camera, though. he’s over there.”

 

the interviewer looks at him and greets him, then says, to the camera, “what a pretty couple.”

 

kyungsoo’s movie is a comedy slash thriller. minseok remembers when he filmed this, how he would come home late with his hands bruised. kyungsoo is a good actor, is praised by seniors in the acting industry and is always talked about when the topic of rising stars comes up anywhere. they hold hands during the after party, tucked into a quiet corner of the building rooftop. kyungsoo’s drunk, talks a mile a minute before he realizes how loud he’s being. minseok is enamored by him.

 

he begins to think that maybe they needed that year and a half gap. minseok doesn’t say it, but maybe that’s what they needed so they could know what they really had. he feels bad for treating kyungsoo the way he did when he was gone. he wants to apologize now, say that they’re good now. that it can be like before.

 

“you’re staring at me.” kyungsoo says, frowns. “am i talking too much?”

 

“no. i like hearing you talk.”

 

kyungsoo looks surprised but then he just giggles, “you’re just saying that.”

 

they spend hours at the after party, well into midnight when kyungsoo’s sobered up a bit and says they should probably head home. minseok had to be at _greed_ the following morning to discuss liquor licenses.

 

“thank you for coming. i know you’re busy most nights.” kyungsoo speaks up when they arrive at their apartment. minseok feels sore, needs a shower and some painkillers.

 

minseok feels heat stir in his stomach when kyungsoo follows him into the bathroom. they used to shower together when they first got married, when minseok couldn’t picture a day without kyungsoo. it’s tense at first, but they manage to relax the more they scrub at their tired skin. “you did really well in the movie.” minseok says, realizing he hadn’t mentioned it all night. “i know you don’t like hearing it, but you’re talented. don’t think i’ve seen someone act in a movie the way you do.”

 

kyungsoo turns bright red, hides in face in his hands, pretends to be too busy with getting clean to respond. “speak for yourself.” he says, “from rags to riches.”

 

“i’d hardly call it riches.” minseok had opened his first club when he was fairly young. _lust_ was the first one of the seven he owned now that he opened. it’s still one of his highest earning clubs in the city.

 

“seven clubs, minseok.” kyungsoo says, lathers his hair in shampoo. “the seven deadly sins approach is what got people, i think.”

 

“people like doing bad shit.” minseok shrugs. they dry off before brushing their teeth. it’s domestic and feels somewhat… normal. like a puzzle piece finally slipping into place.

 

kyungsoo doesn’t initiate anything, just changes quietly and slides into bed. minseok joins him after the lights have gone out, after kyungsoo’s tossed for a few seconds before going still. “we should talk about what’s happening.” kyungsoo whispers suddenly. there’s a sinking feeling that deepens in minseok’s stomach as he speaks, “how we’re going to fix this. fix us.”

 

“i know.” minseok tells him, wants to reach out and hold him, kiss him, but that’s not the kind of couple they are. not yet at least.

 

“okay.”

 

minseok stares at the ceiling, listens to the puffs of air kyungsoo takes, listens until they even out and he’s asleep. minseok waits till then to start to cry.

  
  



End file.
